How to Destroy International Women’s Day

Today I Googled the history of International Women’s Day.  I’d never really looked into it.  I had no idea that over 100 years ago, predecessors to today’s observation of the value, power and worth of women had sprung from the socialist and communist movements in the world,  later became embraced by union organizers and the UN and would ultimately ring through the ensuing decades down to 2017 – where we would still find appalling treatment of women in our world, a “leader” of the free world who is openly abhorrent toward women, and still millions marching and demonstrating for women’s basic rights.

As a father of two adventurous, curious, strong, intelligent, loving, empathetic, tough, humorous, giving, wonderful girls with another baby girl on the way this week, I’m dismayed we have an International Women’s Day.  I want to destroy it.  I want it to become so irrelevant that we need not hold space for a single day to draw focus on the worth of women.  I want a world that celebrates the vital essence of women every day.  I want a world that realizes there would be no world of humanity without women.  I want a world that sees the adventurous, curious, strong, intelligent, loving, empathetic, tough, humorous, giving, wonderful in women.  A world that sees women’s power and is grateful for the cherished daughters, the loving wives, the sacrifice-my-world-for-you mothers.  We need to destroy International Women’s Day – and here’s how.

Start by engaging your little girls with every confidence of their worth, every day.  Encouraging them, supporting them, driving them to dream as big and wide and deep and large as they can. Show them every role model of feminine strength, power, beauty, vulnerability, empathy, goodness, success and wisdom you can.  Give them every chance to embrace masculine role models, too.  Take them hunting, fishing, wrestling, skiing, swimming, adventuring, diving.  Teach them to fight as much as to sew.  Raise them to know that the world is equally theirs.  Let them see you acting in ways consistent with these messages.  Start by engaging your little boys, too, in the very same pursuits.  Let them see and embrace the modeling of strength, power, beauty, vulnerability, empathy, goodness, success and wisdom in women. Show them those traits in yourself.  Lift up those examples of both women and men that shine with morality and integrity and goodness. Teach your little girls and your little boys that they are equally capable of bringing vital beauty to a world that celebrates all humans as whole humans – with respect and worth and love.

Let’s look around today and every day at the things that perpetuate negative messages toward women and girls.  Let’s not stand for them.  Let’s smash them.  Let each and every one of us no longer tolerate treating women as lesser beings.  Let us no longer agree to passively accept marketing, legislation, attitudes, slang, jokes, behavior and norms that continue this age-old campaign to keep women “in their place”.  Let’s Look around at everything from our own day-to-day behavior, to the types of books on the shelves of our libraries and let’s change this ridiculous story once and for all.

Let’s destroy International Women’s Day by honoring it every day.  Let’s teach our little boys and girls to change the world.

Happy International Women’s Day

~ Keith Glendon @Gooderwithbigness ~

Also, check out this awesome story of Bigness, this International Women’s Day

The Ugly Truth of Children's Books

If you have a daughter, you need to see this.

Posted by Rebel Girls on Monday, March 6, 2017

Bigness makes the world go round, and round, and round…

After three days of trying to keep the news to myself, it’s finally been publicly announced. I and 39 other skaters will make up Team Michigan’s 2017 roller derby roster! It’s quite an honor and something I’ve had my sights on for quite awhile.

I was encouraged by Gooder With Bigness co-founder, Keith, to write about this experience, and share the bigness that I stepped in to during it all. I can agree it is a good example of what gooder feelings can come from living big. 

I guess first I’d start off by defining big. In this case it’s really simply unbridled desire and curiosity given the chance. Not being stomped out by what ifs or the fears of judgement, both from others or from your own self.

A couple years ago I met the Keweenaw Roller Girls, at that time it was 5 or 6 gals who were learning how to skate and had ultimate passion to make the league happen. I met them out at a local hot spot, they were so beautiful. Big bushy tutus with sparkles galore, the biggest smiles on their faces, hair three different shades of awesome, and toting around a giant trophy they had just won at a community event. They were adult women who were full of childlike glee and all I wanted was to have a piece of that. Maybe if I got close enough to them they would infect me. They did. My plan worked.

I could have admired them from afar or even allowed some adult judgements enter my mind like, “who are these chicks in tutus,”  but that wasn’t what I did. I marched right over and said, “Who are you, you gals look awesome, and what is that trophy for?!” And so began the catalyst for what has become my journey into the world of roller derby.

Each successive step inward and inward to this community has been one of slight fear. Making new friends can be scary, putting on roller skates can be scary. Falling down, getting hit, watching people break their bones, playing a real game for the first time, having your other friends and co workers coming to watch you! But what’s so bad about any of those things?

What’s so bad about learning how to be a leader? Being a positive example for others? These were all side effects of finding my bigness in roller derby.  I risked myself for myself. Does that make sense? I risked whatever the false self is, for my big self, my real self.  The false self says things like, “you can’t do that, you’ll look stupid, remember the last time you tired something.” The false self is afraid to be big. It’s afraid to be noticed and would rather sit back, be tiny, and whisper things that prevent you from being big. That’s no good.

What’s good is being big. Harnessing big. Being big. Projecting big.  And it has momentum when you do it. Every time you get down with the bigness, the bigness grows and grows. It gets stronger, and it gets easier and easier to agree to bigness… because it feels good!

For the last 4 years I have agreed with my bigness in roller derby. Rollerskating with my friends, building bonds, building a team, building confidence. I’ve learned how to be more authentic by continuing to be big and ignoring those tiny false self voices.  I never was on a board of directors before, then I accepted a role on one. I never was a athlete or a captain, but I became one, … and when I did, it felt so good. Sign up for scrimmages with strangers. Bigness! Drive across the country to meet mentors. Bigness!  Make strides to what makes you feel good and sparks a fire inside. BIGNESS!

I tried out for Team Michigan in 2015. I let myself be vulnerable, told the tiny false self to pipe down, and fanned the flames of bigness. I didn’t make it. Oh well! Try again. Just like in every roller derby game… fall down, get up, keep skating. Tryouts for 2016 were to happen in December. I couldn’t not try again. So many of my friends and community members encouraged me, and I shared my desires with them. They supported my bigness and wanted to see me succeed. Tiny false self tried to nudge it’s way in, “it’s too far… everyone down there knows each other, they’re better conntected… you’re just gonna waste your money… ” NOPE! Bigness steps in. Do it! Life is an adventure. What is living without risk and vulnerability? Stale stale no bigness no funness.

I hopped on a flight from my small town way out in the middle of Lake Superior. Head to Detroit in the middle of winterScary, never been there before. Okay, do it!  IT WAS AWESOME. It felt amazing to be traveling on my own with roller derby as the goal. It was so good. Try out again. Immersed in it. Immersed in BIGNESS. Immersed in everything. Present, happy, optimistic, glad to be alive, glad to be on eight wheels, and doing it with tons of other people. Will I make the team? It didn’t cross my mind while I was there. I was just there with bigness (unbridled desire and curiosity given the chance), and joyful for the last 4 years and how it’s brought me to that very moment.

I waited. We all waited. We waited for a month to hear the official roster. Continue with bigness… what’s next? Keep waiting. Patience. Continue with bigness… What… what!? AHHH! No way! WAY! 

I made it!

And so begins another catalyst… inward and inward into the roller derby world. Harnessing Bigness and feeling how much Gooder it is to be vulnerable rather than safe all the time. How much you can learn and grow by doing so… by putting your whole self out there and risking it.  To experience it all. To step into the arena.

 

-Katie Jo Wright aka Thimbleberry Slam

No Better You Than You

I wrote you a poem today

A gift, of what I had to say

Just simple words, but each one true

There is no better You than You

Oh life can try and knock us down

Rough seas can make us fear we’ll drown

Remember Child, and this is true

There is no better You than You

Oh we can grow and we can change

There’s things we’ll want to rearrange

But all the while, and as you do

There is no better You than You

So give your Love into the flow

And don’t forget yourself, you know

We all deserve it, you do too

There is no better You than You

When morning comes the sun’s first rise

And evening turns to starry skies

And all the days your whole life through

There is no better You than You

Doodle And Riff

Have you ever heard the story of Doodle and Riff?
Who lived up in the big oak tree
Where all year long they did their thing
While Doodle made art, Riff loved to sing
Doodle carved lines in the old tree’s bark
Riff’s music soared wild on the wind
They never got tired in the leaves up above
Just a-carryin’ on with their labor of love
Often it seemed they were groovin’ as one
It was easy to become transfixed
By the Doodle-flow patterns as Riff sang along
Wonderin’ which was the artwork and which was the song

Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-doo
Simple fun creating
Such a thrill to do
Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle
Riff-a-Doo, too
A day of Doodle-Riffin’
And ya can’t be blue

The forest creatures all would come from miles around
To behold the Doodle-Riffin’ first hand
Enraptured and enchanted by what they would see and hear
It restored their faith in wonder and it warded off fear
All the critters rocked with Love and oh, how they’d sway
It was a mesmerizing sight to behold
You shoulda seen the happiness the pilgrimage would bring
Just to see the Doodle-Dance and to hear Riff sing
One day you’ll go and find ‘em on a journey of your own
All you really need to do is look
Their lesson’s real clear in every heart and soul of joy
And in creative fun and every girl and every boy

Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-doo
Simple fun creating
Such a thrill to do
Riff-a-Doodle-Riff-a-Doodle
Riff-a-Doo, doo
We’re all a-Doodle-Riffin’
And you can, too

Ain’t Gonna Go

Little Susie Lee caught a horrible fever
In a cold sweat dream
Death came to retrieve her
But she sat him down
And said “Look here, you know!”
“It simply ain’t my time to go”

And she brewed Death up a pot of tea
She said “Let’s have a chat”
“Just you and me”
“I’m six years old”
“And I’ve still gotta grow”
“So it obviously ain’t my time to go”

She told him great tales of the things she’d do
She’d be the President
And cure cancer, too
She’d win the Nobel prize
Twenty times in a row
So it clearly wasn’t Susie Lee’s time to go

Taken by her zeal, Grim sat captivated
She carried on for hours
He politely waited
And she listed every greatness
That the world would know
Because it really wasn’t yet her time to go

And then in the night her fever broke
Death pushed back his chair
And he stood and spoke
“Little Susie Lee”
“You’re right, I know…”
“It’s definitely not your time to go”

Susie woke up that bright new morn
With a calm sense of knowing
Like she’d been re-born
And she got straight to work
She had a lot to show
Before it was Susie Lee’s Time to go

Gooder with Bigness


I’ve got a piece of advice for you
To carry wherever you go
Life is gooder with bigness
As every child knows

I’m not talking ‘bout fortune or fame
Not status or money or toys
What I mean is the gooder of bigness
Expressed and created through joy

Don’t worry ‘bout how people see you
Never fret over what they may say
Follow your heart and your spirit
Celebrate, laugh, love and play

A dream and a purpose lives in you
Your job is to let it shine through
Tap into the gooder of bigness
And be fully the bigness of YOU!

Friendship in the Wind

I love to stand in the wind
Arms outstretched and flying
In golden sunlight
On a cool fall day  

I love to stand in the wind
I love the trees as they sway
Dancing celebration
Exhaling their leaves
All over the land

I love the trees as they sway
I love to kick joy through the autumn piles
I love finding heart-shaped rocks on the beach
I love the chill rain and the low-slung light
I love watching stars through my breath at night

Won’t you come stand in the wind?
Arms outstretched and flying
Jubilation of life
On a cool fall day
Won’t you come stand in the wind?

 

Aluki’s Special Place

There was a place in her mind
Where Aluki would go
When things became scary
Overwhelming or sad

It was peaceful and quiet
Happy and true
Where the goodness of being
Outshone all the bad

She’d sit there in silence
Her forest bejeweled
Among nature, the creatures
And all of the land

She’d breathe in the moonlight
Enshrouded by calm
As free as the snowflakes
Hand within hand

No matter the torrent
That swirled all around
She’d go there
To heal and renew

A place of pure Spirit
Of warmth and of Love
You’ve got one
Inside of You, too